I miss blogging here. Something that makes me really sad is that I came so close to 100 followers but then I stopped blogging and now I doubt that I will ever reach that goal.

Anyway this blogger tag thing is something that Erimentha created and she did it again recently and this time the tag was open for anyone to do it. So here goes. 

If they're still out there I tag Jokerman and Dandalily.

Abracadabra, Wow!  

I like boys with a head full of dreams and girls who use a contagious vocabulary of 'mint' words.
I like watching TV on a mattress next to the lit fireplace.

I like going to cafe's with a group of female friends and just giggling over anything and everything.

I like talking to Jokerman again and working my brain to keep up with his witty wordplay.

I like snuggling under the blankets to read.

I like the feeling of calmness after you have cried and cried your heart out and there are no tears left.

I like making playlists on my iPod and then playing them at work.
I like having a cheeky flirt in chem.
I like that winter means I get to buy a whole new wardrobe.
I like feeling close to my mum.
I like being up to date in Offspring because I'm finally able to watch it as it airs and have nothing spoiled for me.
I like the feeling of satisfaction that I get when I get up early on Saturdays and do homework before work.
I love him.
Today I am happy because I get to see my dad.

In some ways, I love everything. Its less, its less of a thing to like, its less distinct, its less particular I like things that I like but I love everything There’s more choice in like Cos even the worst things have things you love in them I don’t know what you mean about things I hate  
I hate that the likes were so hard this time.
I hate when you are growing distant from someone and there is nothing you can do to save the friendship.
I hate my lack of motivation.
I hate rude customers combined with my selfish boss or difficult, bossy co workers.
I hate that I've already fucked up this year.
I hate when my methods teacher uses his super disappointed voice. 
I hate how everyone makes all these assumptions from the things I post on my tumblr but in a way, it's kind of cool that they find it interesting enough to read.

I hate how easily I am disappointed.

I hate thinking about next year and the end of this year.

I hate this. Wow, sorry....

xoxo Camelgirl

Fuck.

I've messed everything up just like I always do so it's time to make some important decisions that are way beyond my tiny, immature brain.

In a haze of drunkenness and anger, and then suddenly their lips are on yours and it's exactly what you'd given up on trying to prove to yourself so you hesitate and by then it's too late. It's all wrong but your mind isn't whole enough to stop. You just want to feel alive again, so you let your body sink into theirs.

Wrong wrong wrong. When does something stop being wrong and start being right?

I'm trying to get my breath back but it's always slightly out of my grasp. I thought I was getting better but I'm just as awful as I've always been.

I might have thought this would happen to me but I never thought I'd be the one doing it.



And now I have no choice but to leave. 

xoxo Camelgirl

Really old draft that I just found but I need to keep blogging so I'm posting it.

I thought we had to be perfect
but I was so so wrong
(we had to be anything but perfect.)
It was our imperfections that completed us
and perfections that tore us down.

xoxo Camelgirl

love like a bird flies away

There's song that reminds me of candles and stages and still makes me almost want to cry, just like it did the first time I ever heard them sing it.

The only things really keeping me grounded are a mass of red curls and a girl who knows when something is wrong with me and Wednesday afternoons and sharing laughs with people you never thought you'd again laugh with.

Time keeps passing and I got one comment on my last post, that's awful.
I was right in the way that when I finally stopped trying too hard to fit in places that I didn't, I found the place where I really belong.

But I still feel like everything is so fragile, if I alter one thing, there will be a domino effect and I'll be left with nothing again.

This is a pretty muddled up post, but it's not like anyone read these any more, so what does it matter.



xoxo Camelgirl

I need to start blogging again

I think that sometimes when people leave people they love behind, its not because they no longer love them but because they no longer love the person they were when they loved that person.


"If you don't forget me, I won't forget you," said Who but I couldn't forget him if I tried.


xoxo Camelgirl

these words are past their use by date

why do i keep ending up on streets in tiny hours and feeling Klassy as can be . why do i feel like a horrible friend when i'm the one who has been abandoned. why why why. and why has this made me like him less. or has it. am i just a toy or is he just a toy, or both, or fuck. i want the other him. but i dont like him, argh argh argh. help me. let them like me. they seem fine at school. but not now. i just feel like my prescence is just as fine as my absence.

xoxo Camelgirl

I want to forget.

Vati:

Universe:

Who:

Oh:

Me:

Tictoc:

21:

Dandy, Ti, Mario and Yoghurt:

xoxo Camelgirl