In a haze of drunkenness and anger, and then suddenly their lips are on yours and it's exactly what you'd given up on trying to prove to yourself so you hesitate and by then it's too late. It's all wrong but your mind isn't whole enough to stop. You just want to feel alive again, so you let your body sink into theirs.
Wrong wrong wrong.
I'm trying to get my breath back but it's always slightly out of my grasp. I thought I was getting better but I'm just as awful as I've always been.
I might have thought this would happen to me but I never thought I'd be the one doing it.
And now I have no choice but to leave.