Wednesday, September 1, 2010

I don't want to go back to cryptics, I just want you to know.

She's gone and he's gone, and they just continue to leave me, and their body heat's gone now; I'm cold.

It's like she has this big beautiful flower, and she's just plucking the petals off it, and dropping them, and I'm sitting underneath trying to catch them all, but they're coming too fast and my palms are shrinking, and suddenly they stop and I look up, and you're gone.

And now I'm lying in a bed of the petals, but there's something poking into my back; they've turned into thorns. I look around for you, and them, but all there are are hands. I try to reach out for them, and link fingers, but they're too far away and they're moving, so I keep missing, and my fingers just continue to glide through time and space.

And all I want is something to hold onto, something to smell. Nobody is here and I'm scared, but I'm trying to be brave. I have to. I don't want to miss you anymore. I don't want to need you anymore. I don't want to  need something to be something.

I want to keep some of this inside me for once so I'm not just empty. So don't touch me. Don't try to make me talk. Or I'll run. Again. And this time I don't want to leave. I want to be here and I want to like being here.

But that doesn't mean I want you to leave.

xoxo Camelgirl


  1. I know when i'm upset and on the verge of tears I can hold it in until someone tries to hug me or ask me to look at them...then I just break down.

    I hope you are okay though...

  2. I love the idea of being scared but pretending to be brave, it's a feeling I certainly can relate to.

  3. "I don't want to miss you anymore. I don't want to need you anymore. I don't want to need something to be something."

    Exactly how I feel.


  4. SO yeah,being alone is easier but hiding gets to you in the end.

  5. this was like a million metaphors in one, reminded me of so many things...god! stop being so amazing for.

    ps. hope the thorns go away, even if the petals have already dropped and dont come back :(

  6. This was just . . . breathtaking. The part about your hands shrinking and the petals falling and trying to link fingers but you just can't - just everything. You're so freaking amazing.


Many thanks for your feedback. :)